the light beyond / our shadows

- translated by Thiri Zune

Butterflies. Early Summer. Spoken in a whisper but the shadows grew louder.
I was in a downward spiral because of those straight eyelashes.
I tried to forget about my loneliness when I saw your solitude.
If I tell you that your sad-looking face looks so ethereal...
Don’t deepen yourself like clouds.
It’s not prerequisite for the bridge to be straight.
Those eyes staring at the distance in this distorted world flung me out of space.
I also can’t sleep at nights.
In the sight of those eyes, my mind enduring everything all this time flows like a waterfall
The flares I shot up wouldn’t be coming down until a few years later.
The only sound of the violin plays heartachingly eloquent.
There are only other doors behind the doors that have been pushed open.
Going downwards, the clouds are...
We no longer know the things we have known.
Feeling like I’ve known this all my life
although I’m sure I have just seen this for the first time.
For the things I’ve been wild about all my life,
for the things I haven’t had the nerve to be wild about all my life,
now I’m going wild about all of these things in one sitting.
If I tell you your bored-looking face looks so ethereal…
I think of the kite from my childhood.
If the wind blows towards me, I’d stretch my arms out and if it doesn’t,
I just left my spinning wheel beside me.
I was bored out of my wits looking at the neon lights along the way.
Those forcefully expanded boundaries. The city has to carry the mass of my boredom
And I’m both thankful and apologetic to the city.
Through those unopened windows I managed to see your darkness
The roads are far but I come closer.
Feeling like I have seen this for the first time
Although I’m sure I’ve seen this all my life.
And then further than before.
I can promise you now.
If you just stretch out your arms towards me.
I have to keep my composure so tomorrows won’t collapse.
Look at me without saying a single thing, then smile gently.
Tuesdays make me shudder without a break.
I need the light from you more than those lights from everywhere else.
My memories rotating one turn after another.
Every sight is the pale-yellow butterflies.
Every scenery is your favourite clouds.
Like the light from the meadow is fading thin into the wind. Watching this I feel disheartened.
Now in my memory there’s a girl who wants a pair of wings to fly.
Your eyes are looking at somewhere far beyond me.
Every line, every word I get from you is my shadow sinking deeper into the black hole of love.
I am surprised at myself.
The wind caresses my wounds…
And I feel warm.
Looking the side profile of your face when you’re copying school notes.
I am surprised at myself.
It feels like I am carried away piece by piece in the wind.
At least, I am not alone.
Although we can’t see where the roads are,
There are white shoelaces tied around the life we’re wearing.
When I look up, the clouds change into the colour of orange.
The lines drop from the diary I have never written.
At least, we'd both sit down and stare at the summer clouds in the evenings.
And we got bored of and surprised at life together.
You’ll know even if I don’t tell you. The spreading wings,
The fluttering kites and the songs we used to listen to on every page
I also feel that way sometimes, you said.
I can hear them although the voices are shut off.
An unknown sadness envelopes me.
The moonlight does not land at my room anymore.
Just like that, the days bygone come crashing down day after day.

Paing Nyan
3rd October, 2014